Is Bikram Choudry Available to Babysit?

I have been accused of taking up new sports or activities simply so that I can have an excuse to shop for new clothes and gear for that sport or activity. I am not sure that is accurate but I will say that yoga clothes are pretty darn cute.

I recently started going to Bikram Yoga on a regular basis. My first Bikram Yoga class was when my son was 5. That would be 7 years ago if my math is right. Damn I’m getting old. Anyway, I would never have gone had it not been for my law firm at the time deciding that we all needed a little stress relief. A Bikram Yoga studio had just opened in Reno. They gave every employee class cards for 10 classes at a time and I figured I would give it a try. I honestly don’t remember much about my first class or the 20 classes I took back then. I remember it was hot. I remember that I had spots on my face for about a week. I later found out those spots were the bad toxins in my system working their way out of my polluted body. I guess that’s a good thing. My Bikram Yoga career was tragically short. I was a newly single mom to a kindergartener. I was working full time. I was fat and didn't know how essential exercise was to a healthy life. I didn’t exactly have a lot of time for 90 minutes of yoga on a regular basis. Now Bikram says things like “If you don’t have time in your life for yoga, change your life.” I thought at the time, "Yeah right Bikram…are you available to baby-sit?"

I returned to Bikram Yoga at the urging of my best friend Krista about two years ago. I had just given up martial arts and was looking for a sport where people weren’t always trying to hit me. No one tries to put you in an arm bar at yoga. There are no thai kicks, no roundhouses to the head, no body jabs. I love that about yoga. But I digress… I was hooked again. I went faithfully about 5-6 days a week. I lost a lot of weight and felt better about myself and life than I had in a long time. I bought the special super cute towel with the grippers that fits perfectly on your mat and doesn’t make your feet slip. Although based on a recent lecture from Stefan I realize that these towels may be a form of cheating. Something to do with a lack of inner thigh strength? I’m not sure but the towels are so cute that I have 3. I kept it up for a good 5 months. I was faithful. I was devoted. My heart belonged to Bikram Choudry. Then, of course, my life got in the way. My son, 11 at the time, needed surgery (nothing major but when it is your kid it is always major) and once again I thought to myself, “if you don’t have time for yoga in your life, change your life”. Again I thought to myself, “Ok Bikram, are you available to sit at the hospital or on the couch watching a sick kid?” That’s what I thought…

The thing with Bikram Yoga is once you get out of the routine, it is really hard to go back. You know after being gone a while the weird spots will come back on your face. The excruciating headache will return in the dreaded Camel pose. You know that the triangle really sucks when you haven’t been there for a while. And then there is the thought that those super cute yoga shorts just might not be as cute on you after a yoga hiatus.

Fast forward to November of 2010. I was driving in the car and literally said to myself, “I need to go to hot yoga”. It was the strangest thing. I knew I needed to go. I knew. I said to my boyfriend “I can feel the pollution in my brain, in my blood, pulsing through my body. I’m a big fat polluted person!”

The very next day I found my way back to Bikram Yoga. One pair of my super cute yoga shorts still fit so I put them on, took a deep breath and went back to the mat. I will admit that I was a little crushed when one of my favorite teachers didn’t remember me (thanks Barry) but, I suppose, that’s what I get for being unfaithful.

I have been faithfully going to Bikram Yoga 4-5 times a week. I long for the day that I can do a 30 day challenge and go everyday. But for now, I have enough challenges in my life. I look forward to seeing Susana (the cutest little thing ever) with a different yoga outfit for everyday of the week. Where does she shop? Must be on-line. My heart smiles when Eric is the teacher because he recites poetry at the end. Eric is the only person in my life who recites poetry. How great is that! Stefan scares me a little bit because he gave a pretty hash lecture about the hazards of cheating by moving your towel so you feet don’t slip. Apparently Bikram doesn’t like cheaters. But I like his tattoos and his sense of humor when he isn’t being a yoga hard ass.

I know Bikram Choudry sometimes gets a bad rap. He is frowned on for having too many cars and living a lavish lifestyle in Beverly Hills. He is condemned, in essence, for shopping too much. Seriously? He is questioned for his decision to copyright his yoga postures. The attorney in me is all for copyrights. Why wouldn’t he do everything he can to have his intellectual property protected? Bikram Yoga is accused of not being “real yoga”. Well it feels real to me in the middle of the balancing stick in 105 degree heat.

I am committed for the long run. I no longer need Bikram to baby-sit because my son is growing up way too fast. My cute shorts all fit again. I’m not spotted like a leopard because a fair amount of my polluted soul has been cleaned. The headaches have gone away. I still dread the camel pose but I know someday soon I will look forward to it. I actually love the heat. I admire my fellow yogis that show up everyday. Eric’s poetry makes my heart happy. This is definitely about more than having an excuse to buy new clothes and gear. This is a lifestyle thing. I’m in it for the long haul…cute shorts, cute towels and all.

The Lady Bug and The Chardonnay

I love ladybugs. Lady bugs are good luck and they always cheer me up. They seem to be attracted to me as well. They land on me when I am running. I find them on my car. I even recently met a very lucky little ladybug on the sand in Santa Monica. Let me tell you the story of how I came to find this little ladybug.

My best friend Krista and I took a much needed vacation to Santa Monica for a long weekend. We went under the guise of running a half marathon. In all fairness, we did in fact sign up to run a half marathon. The 13.1 Half Marathon-Los Angeles to be specific. We had our cab driver take us to the “expo”. Our cab driver was an LA cholo who decided mid cab ride that he needed to introduce us to a new comedian. We listened for 5 minutes to vulgar cursing and racial slurs before there was even a joke. Meanwhile our cab driver is yelling out the window to people standing on the corners. “Hey Brittany” was especially memorable. We left our belongings with the cab driver while we ran into the cute running store to get our shirts and race numbers. Too bad we were so worried about our stuff in the cab that we couldn’t shop. That store had some cute stuff. Finally, off to the hotel for some pool time and resting up for our big run.

We really did have every intention of running the half marathon until two glasses of Chardonnay at the hotel pool brought the utter foolishness of our goals into focus. We thought about it while we walked along the beach. It was weighing heavily on our minds while we rode the roller coaster on Santa Monica Pier. Finally the answer came to us over dinner. Our discussion went something like this:

“You know, it’s going to take a long time to run 13 miles.”

“I do know, at least 2 and a half hours.”

“And we have to walk to the start and back to the hotel from the finish. That’s another hour right there”.

“That is three hours we won’t be able to spend at the beach.”

“Right. And really, you’ve been sick, and I’ve been…well stressed…and it will take more like 3 hours to run the half marathon.”

“Don’t forget the one hour of walking to the start and finish.”

“But we already got the green shirts that say we ran a half marathon”.

“No one will ever know. Well except for our race numbers that say we are running the half marathon.”

“We will wear t-shirts over those numbers so no one will know.”

“What about the pictures?”

“We will hold our shirts up to show the numbers when we see the photographers.”

“What about the medals?”

“We won’t take the medals…that would be wrong.”

“Right. It will probably take more like 3 and a half hours to run 13 miles…God that sounds far.”

“Plus the hour walk back and forth to the hotel”.

“That’s like half the day we won’t be able to spend at the beach OR the hotel pool”.

“Ok. Let’s do the 5K.”

“Ok. The 5K”.

“But we have to get up and do the 5K”.

“We will…I’m getting another Chardonnay.”

We did get up and run the 5K. In our defense, it was at least a 2 mile walk to the start. On a shameful note, we did in fact take the medals for the half marathon even though we knew it was wrong. We actually convinced the sweet little teenaged volunteer from big brothers and big sisters to give us the medals even though we ran only the 5K and the 5K does not really earn you a medal. We used our finely honed skills of persuasion, we are lawyers after all, and convinced her that we had in fact paid for those medals and the fact that we were sick and well…stressed…were unforeseen circumstances. Therefore, we should have medals anyway. She conceded. Damn we are good! We do plan to white out the one of the 13 and then it will be accurate. And we did pay for them.

We had a fabulous guilt free day at the beach with chardonnay. Lots of it. I take the lady bug as a sign that we made the responsible and right decision. I mean, if we had run the half marathon, however would we have had the energy to walk the 2 miles back to Venice Beach to buy art from homeless, toothless, criminals. No one should ever miss that. Admittedly I was reluctant. Beach vendors are kind of scary to me and what was that strange fog hanging over the entirety of the boardwalk. What was that smell? Well after about 10 minutes, my reluctance faded away and there was street art that I just could not live without. Everyone needs a cat holding a grenade for their 12 year old son. Who can resist the “don’t f*&% with me I’m a goddess” painting. And Ra Ra Superstar? The man has displayed his art in Tokyo for Christ’s sake. We started to question the wisdom of even the 5k when we realized we had to walk back to the hotel…again…with all of our art. Thank god for vodka. It always comes through just when you think all hope is lost. Just when you think you can’t go on. Just when you want to sit down and cry…you have some vodka and can trudge on through the trenches of hell. 2 pink pussycats (vodka, lemonade, and pomegranate) and we were on our way.

We made it back to the hotel in time for more wine and the golden globes. We had a fabulous time swooning over Colin Firth. I think Krista actually cried when the camera paned to him in the crowd but I’m not sure. At the end of the Golden Globes we were exhausted. I was shocked when I looked up and saw Krista’s smiling face asking expectantly “Kiki…do you want to go to the hot tub? Hot tub? Hot tub?”. Fortunately I declined and we both were asleep within six minutes.

At the end of our trip we found t-shirts that summed up the entire experience. Our shirts say “Running Sucks” in frilly sparkly font. The girls at the Nike store must have thought we were freaks as we giggled through the store with our fabulous shirts.

You might wonder if I have any regrets about this weekend. I am, after all, an avid runner. I have run countless half marathons. I’m a runner damnit. Well, I have no regrets. I had a great time. I have a great friend. I had some chardonnay. I met a new ladybug. And we would not have had the much needed beach time if we had in fact run the half marathon. It would have taken at least 5 hours after all. Plus the hour walk to and from…

Five Days Without Shopping Is Like Five Days Without Sunshine

Resolution Watch- January 5, 2010- Five Days Without Shopping is Like Five Days Without Sunshine.

I need to work on some strategies to keep myself on track with this ridiculous no shopping until my boyfriend drinks resolution I have made. Although only day 5 and I have not yet broken down and shopped for anything other than necessities, I anticipate that it will get harder and harder.

I have developed the following strategies:

Avoid similar like-minded people. I must avoid my co-workers who insist on telling me about all the sales around town. Especially must avoid a co-worker who sits right outside my office. When I told said co-worker of my no-shopping for a month plan she simply said, “That’s dumb!” and continued to tell me about hoodies she saw on sale and how they are perfect for the gym. She maintained that it was “still dumb” even when I explained I was doing it to be supportive. She is divorced too. Must start following the football playoffs and have water cooler talk with the men in my office instead. Or I guess I could talk to people at work, about work.

There is no addiction that can’t be cured by another addition. I will run. And run. And run. And I will make everyone else run too. The Marina is too close to the Legends and I ought not to be allowed to go there alone, without people to account to or timeframes to follow. I have a half marathon in two weeks so I can obsess about that or a while. Luckily I had the foresight to book our hotel in Tempe…not Scottsdale.

When all else fails, focus on my career. Fortunately, I am busy with work and have several cases which have been kind of simmering on the backburner for a couple of months but now are boiling over. These cases are complete with pain-in-the-ass opposing counsel so I will take my frustrations out on them instead of my loved ones. This will keep me busy and distracted from internet shopping over lunch.

Spend my lunch hours that I am not dealing with pain-in-the-ass opposing counsel at spinning class at the gym. I have actually scheduled Tuesday and Thursday noon as a recurring appointment on my calendar to try spinning class. One of my other resolutions is to stop being afraid of the road bike I bought in October and actually get on it. I figure spin class will be a good way to get closer to the resolution and a little more comfortable with those pedal thingys.

Focus on other New Year’s Resolution aka “WWNPD”. My only other significant New Year’s resolution is to be nice. I have only shared this resolution with a few people because it seems pretty daunting. But I have adopted the mantra “what would a nice person do” when faced with a difficult situation. When someone cuts me off outside of the Billinghurst Middle School kid drop off, I think “what would a nice person do?” Believe it or not, trying to be nice is taking a lot of focus and energy.

Fill my non-working, non-gymgoing, non-running, non-Taylor hours with mindless crap like movies about teenage vampires and the new season of the Bachelor. Although those skanky girls do wear some pretty cute clothes.

Progress Report:

So far the only debatable necessity that I have purchased was sunscreen at the recommendation of my dermatologist. She insisted really. Based on my northern European skin and the amount of time I spend in the elements running my little heart out. I did order it from Amazon because it is cheaper there than in the doctor’s office and confessed the purchase and it was agreed to be considered “a necessity”.

So far…so good.

Resolution Blog Day 2- January 2, 2010

I have decided to give up shopping for the month of January. I am mostly doing this to support my boyfriend’s efforts not to drink alcohol in January. It seems that if he is going to give up something so near and dear to his heart, the least I can do is do the same. I am hoping for some kind of personal and financial growth in the process.

I don’t really think I have a problem. I am not going to go on record and admit that I am a shopaholic at this point. I am not sure whether there is an actual definition or warning signs to let you know you are a shopaholic. It’s not quite as black and white as say being an alcoholic. I kind of knew I might be on an unhealthy path with alcohol when I started taking the bottle of vodka to the bathtub with me so I wouldn’t have to get out to refresh my bathtub cocktail. It was apparent at that time that I was not on a healthy path. And I don’t really drink vodka now unless it is a work related event (a necessary exception) or special occasion. This shopping issue is far less clear.

I do have a lot of clothes and a lot of shoes. I’m not overly extravagant though. I don’t care so much about designer clothes or shoes. I do not own Jimmy Choos. I do not own Prada. I do own some upper end jeans but that is largely because they fit my upper sized rear end. With that exception, I stick mostly to what I consider to be practical necessities. My issue is I may have more than I need of many of these “practical necessities”.

For example, I am a runner. I am a “for real” runner. 6 full marathons. More than fifteen half marathons. I am legitimately entitled to running shoes, running clothes and running gear. But, I arguably don’t need the 5 drawers and entire armoire full plus almost an entire hall closet of running shoes, running clothes and running gear that I currently possess. Running shoes that are too cute to run in are probably not a “practical necessity”. I probably don’t need running shoes that are too cute to run in. Nevertheless, I have three pairs that fall into this category. One pair I can justify as “charitable shopping”. I have a super cute pair of Nike running shoes designed by a teenager with cancer through a kind of “make-a-wish” type Nike charity. They have embroidered hearts on the toes. Those however, are legitimate as a portion of those proceeds did go to the charity. The other two pairs I cannot justify in this way. Three pairs of running shoes that are too cute to wear running are perhaps beyond the scope of “practical necessity”.

Similarly, I live in a cold climate so I am legitimately entitled to warm puffy parkas. However, I probably cannot justify as necessary 5 such warm puffy parkas. Although I will say that they are all in very practical, necessary, basic wardrobe colors. Black, white, white, white, and pink. Also, it seems practical to have a pair of Uggs to keep my feet warm. Arguably, it is not practical or necessary to have 9 pairs of Uggs. Again, three of the pairs are the basic wardrobe color of beige and go with everything. But…three pairs are pink. Three other pairs have flowers all over them. They are all amazing. None are practical or necessary.

Thus, upon reflection, taking some time off from my favorite pastime of shopping altogether for at least a month is a good idea. I am faced with some immediate concerns and challenges which is why I have decided to publically document this personal journey.

My first challenge is to avoid the overwhelming need to track down the sequin- covered sparkly boots that I saw on a complete stranger in a friend’s pictures from New Year’s Eve posted on facebook last night. They were pretty damn cute and certainly a practical necessity. But no…I will resist a full scale, time consuming internet search for these practical amazing boots.

I am also going to resist going in search of the metallic gold puffy parka that I have been patiently waiting all season to go on sale. As mentioned above I have a lovely selection of puffy parkas and the gold metallic is not really a basic wardrobe color.

Further, I am not buying what seems to be the most legitimate necessity of new running gloves and will wear the goofy fleece gloves I have until February. Although I could probably justify the new running gloves under the above mentioned charitable exception since I gave my good running gloves with the hidden key pocket to a homeless person during the Las Vegas Half Marathon because my hands got to hot and I didn’t want to carry them another 6 miles. I am going to choose not to make such excuses and simply wear the gloves that I have, which I kind of prefer anyway.

That’s it for day 2. So far, so good.