It's not bad crying...it's good crying.

Today I completed day 12 of my yoga challenge.  In two more days I will be one quarter of the way through my 60 day challenge.  Can you believe it?  I am truly amazed at what you can accomplish when you just take it one day at a time. 

Today's class was taught by one of my favorite instructors.  The instructors are all absolutely fantastic and I adore them all but Barry - he is a legendary.  His class is literally, standing room only.  He has this amazing energy.  Almost an aura.  And he is a yoga hard ass.  No bent knee goes unnoticed.  However, despite the fact that Barry is one of my favorite teachers I actually avoid his Wednesday classes because they are so full of people.

Now the reason I was at Barry's class is because I lost all control of my week.  I have carefully tried to schedule the yoga classes so I won't have any excuse to miss them.  I had this nice little schedule that I mapped out on Monday but my schedule has not worked.  This week requires me to be both Caryn the Super-Lawyer and Caryn the Super-Mom.  These weeks are particularly challenging.  I am juggling work appointments and "Taylor" appointments all week.  On a normal week, I would have let yoga pass and just not made it down there at all.  I would have written this week off as a week I just have to get through.  But when I'm on a Challenge, I'm on a Challenge!

So you are probably wondering how it is going.  Here is a quick update. 

The most noticeable progress I have made is that I think I am actually starting to glow.  People have commented on it.  My skin is feeling amazing.  Normally I have times when I can't stand being in my own skin because it feels too tight for me.  It's hard to explain the feeling but there are days that I feel like if I could take off my skin I would.  It's this absolutely miserable and depressing feeling.  Well, my friends, I am not experiencing that feeling anymore.  This in and of itself is worth the price of admission to the Bikram Yoga Challenge.

My yoga meltdowns continue but they aren't overwhelming meltdowns.  They are good meltdowns.  I just cry more.  I cried, no I sobbed, at the 25th Anniversary of Les Miserables on PBS on Sunday night.  I cried at my friend Marj's video birthday card to her husband that she posted on Facebook on his birthday.  I don't even know him.  I cried at a particularly cheesy moment in The Hangover, which I have seen at least seven times.  Yes, that is right, I cried in The Hangover.  I cried when I read the list of available Golden Retrievers in the Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue Newsletter.  Yes, I'm actually considering adopting another one.  And I cried when I overheard Taylor telling the assistant at his orthodontist appointment about the Linkin Park concert and our exciting night out in Vegas.  Needless to say, I cry a regular basis.  But the amazing thing is I haven't cried at things like this for a really long time.  This is good crying.  I get accused often of being cold hearted.  I think this kind of crying means my cold, frozen heart seems to be melting.

I have only actually cried once in yoga class.  Jenn, an adorable Tinkerbelle-esq instructor, just competed in the National Yoga Championships.  She was telling her story to our class and she started to cry which made me start to cry.  Again...it was good crying.  And I don't think anyone knew I was crying because it's hard to know if someone is wiping tears out of their eyes or sweat out of their eyes.  The yoga room actually is a pretty safe cry zone.

I haven't taken my measurements yet.  I have decided to wait until day 15.  The 1/4 way point.  But here is another amazing thing.  I'm not sure I care what they are.  My jeans are getting loose.  I know that.  But I really feel like this is having so many benefits for me in other ways, that for once in my life, the goal of this kind of time commitment is not to lose weight.  I am eating better but it's not a conscious effort.  It's because only healthy food tastes right to me.  I haven't wanted coffee since about 2 days into the challenge.  I haven't had a cupcake since day 3.  I bought some candy at the movie last weekend but only ate a few because they just didn't taste that good.  I threw away a box that still had candy left in it.  13 days ago that was unthinkable to me. 

So that's the update.  I know I sound crazy...like maybe I drank the Bikram Poison Coconut Kool-Aid.  But for whatever reason.  It seems to be working.